Girl Chat With D

Hello Earthlings!

Most people who know me, know I am all about mental health. Good mental health is so important in surviving day to day life. Let’s be real, we all have some quirks whether its explosive anger, addictive personality, jealousy, impulsivity, etc. We will get into all these smaller subjects eventually but the first step (and most important in my opinion) is moving on from your past trauma.

You are not alone.

A huge eye opener is realizing YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Guys, my childhood trauma began at the age of 9 years old and that trauma didn’t stop until about a year and a half ago. Granted, some of that trauma was caused by bad choices on my end but who’s pointing fingers? 😂😂 Trauma is unfortunately a part of life and everyone experiences it. I’m sure there’s a specific event that happened in your life that you’re thinking about right now, more than likely in some way shape or form that event traumatized you or you probably wouldn’t be still thinking about it 5 years later. For me personally, my trauma began at the peak of my father’s opiate addiction. At that point in my life, me and depression became best friends but we’ll get into that another time.

Let go.

“Letting go” means to release all of the anger for the events of your past no matter how much of an impact it made on your life. Give forgiveness where it’s due and cut off the people who bring toxicity into your life. At the end of the day, holding onto all that hatred and sadness is doing you more harm than good. Some of you are probably thinking “Yeah. Way easier said than done” and that’s absolutely correct. It’s not easy, it takes a lot of effort and time. It’s something that will only work if you really want it to. When I decided to “let go”, I had just given birth to my son (side note: my son’s dad is not in my son’s life by his choice even though he does have an amazing father figure in his life who is my significant other) and I was a single mother to a newborn baby. I was terrified, I had never been through this before. The only thing that I knew for sure was that I NEEDED to let go and be mentally okay in order to be the mom I wanted to be. I feel like nowadays, some young mothers project their past trauma on their children and in reality, the only that does is continue the cycle of trauma.

How?

Anyone is capable of moving on from their trauma and once you do it feels like a 3,000 ton weight is lifted off your shoulders. It feels like 10+ years of hate and sadness and anger just escaped my heart and after time, my heart filled with love instead. Again, this is something that takes time but can be effective over time if kept up with. Here are some things I have done and found to be effective in my Moving On Journey:

• If you’re feeling resentful towards people who have wrong you in the past, write them a letter telling them everything you want to tell them. Let it all out. When finished, fold the paper until you feel satisfied. Take a lighter or another source of fire ( Be careful, keep water nearby just in case!). Close your eyes and say to yourself, “You no longer control me” and set fire to the letter. Imagine all those feelings of resentment going away with the letter. Dispose of the ashes. Repeat this as many times as you need (you can even do it multiple times for the same person) depending on how resentful you feel.
• If you are feeling grief towards a loved one who has passed on, grab some paper or if it’s someone you REALLY miss maybe consider buying a notebook or journal. Write letters to this person. Tell them how much you miss them and how much of an impact they’ve made on your life. Write letters to them every day, multiple times a day if you need to. Over time, you will realize you’re going to write to them less. This doesn’t mean you miss them less by any means but it does mean you are moving on which is what your loved one would want you to do if they were still here. Once you feel like you’re handling the grief well, you can keep the letters; in the past I’ve tied the letters to a few balloons and sent them to the sky for added closure.
• If you are feeling trauma from a specific event (For example: car crash, assault, natural disaster), I found that talking about it as much as possible helps me a lot. Don’t feel like you are being a burden by talking about your problems (Remember: you are not alone and you’d be surprised how many people understand.). I tell people all the time “I’d rather sit on the phone with you for hours at 3 am and listen to your problems then attend your funeral” and A LOT of people feel the same way regardless if you realize it or not. Tell your friends what’s going on, reach out to people. It’s okay to not be okay and very rarely do any of us have it all together all the time. If you are reaching out to your loved ones and they are putting you down or making you feel guilt for asking for help then that’s a pretty good sign that you’re better off without them. Your struggle is nothing to be ashamed of.

You can do this!!

At the end of the day, remember if I can do it so can you! I hope these tips and tricks can bring peace to some people. Just a reminder, another option to always keep in mind is there are different types of counseling and therapy for situations like these. As someone who has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital twice in 8 years, don’t ever feel ashamed for seeking help from professionals; most people working in that profession are knowledgeable and can provide many techniques for coping with trauma.

In case of Emergency

In case of an emergency, call the Crisis Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or dial 988. The Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 to call or even text, they even have Spanish translators.

Thanks so much for